A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies “No, I’m traveling light.”
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks “dry?”, the German replies “nein, just one.”
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Two women walk into a bar, and talk about the Bechdel test.
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
An engineer, an economist, and a philosopher are hiking through the hills of Scotland. On the top of a hill they see a black sheep. “What do you know,” the engineer remarks. “The sheep in Scotland are black.” “No, no”, protests the economist. “At least one of the sheep in Scotland is black.” The philosopher considers this a moment. “That’s not quite right. There’s at least one sheep which is black from one side.”
A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything”.
The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the Buddhist monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Excuse me, but where’s my change?” asks the Buddhist monk. The vendor replied, “Change must come from within.”